Behind the Byakugan
by Everywhere Yet Nowhere
Summary: .:NejiHina:. A series of one shots about the Hyuugas and the complicated relationship between Neji and Hinata. All fluff all the time.
1. Gaze

**Behind the Byakugan**

**1 - Gaze**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and characters are property of their respective owners. Damnit.**

**XxXxXxX**

_The soul that can speak with its eyes can also kiss with a gaze._

That was true wasn't it?

She looked out, onto the village and the veritable ocean of trees beyond. Her eyes could see more than anybody else's. They could see things that were hidden.

Things far away.

Things that no one else could.

But for all their talents, she felt that nothing was ever clear. Like an eternal mist surrounded her. Choking her.

Silencing her.

She was not brave; she was timid. She was not powerful; she was weak.

More eyes shone out from the mist. The eyes of the one she admired, clear sky-blue, as loud and bright as the person who owned them. And the eyes of_ him_. He who could gaze upon her from metres and metres away and still make her feel like she had never been closer. He who could see her very soul, and know her better than anyone. He who had eyes like hers, but different.

_He, who could kiss with a gaze._

They say eyes are the windows to the soul, what could his eyes say about him? That his soul was a barren, scary place, drained of colour but emanating power?

And for that matter, did that mean her soul was the same as his?

She was confused. She was meant to admire one who she had watched for many years, admired for his stubbornness, forwardness. And she did admire him. The days spent watching the back of his blonde head as he ended his sentence with "dattebayo!" did not seem wasted. For he was a person that she could learn a lot from.

But her eyes could be looking one way, and see entirely another. Perhaps her "crush" on the

boy with the sky-blue eyes was merely a facade... a facade for herself. There was things she could see, with her eyes... and the feelings she felt when she saw, _him_... were unlike anything.

Hate, it was supposed to be. Rivalry. And maybe there was, on his part. This fact tore at her inside. He had surpassed her in every way she could be surpassed, to her shame. He should have been destined for her destiny. But he was passed the hand that fate dealt him, and he didn't seem like he would step down.

Indeed, that was why she admired him.

She had to deal with the hand fate dealt her as well. Feel that gaze... the eternal gaze upon her and not be able to do anything about it. But how was she to know whether the gaze was the same as hers... or whether it was an icy cold stare of resentment and hate? The eyes didn't change. She could gaze back, try to decipher, just as he did... but she wouldn't.

She couldn't.

She shouldn't.

She suddenly heard footsteps, and before she knew it someone had sat next to her. She didn't need to turn to know exactly who it was, and even if she didn't know the voice would've soon given it away.

"Hinata-sama."

_Neji._

Words lost her. As they always did, but around him it was worse. They got stuck in her mouth and would not be let out. She wanted to talk to him... to look at him, but she couldn't bring herself to. It was too painful.

"I need to talk to you."

She spoke in her head, the words that she would say... the words that she couldn't say.

_How can you need to talk to me?_

"I've needed to say these things for a long time."

_Do you not hate me enough?_

She couldn't look at him. Oh, how she wanted to. But if she looked up, saw those eyes with her own, she was doomed. He would be able to see right through her, right through her feelings. Those that she needed to hide.

"I have been angry at you ever since that day... my father died; because you needed to be protected. But I was angry because my father died for you, who is to lead our clan, who has not inherited all the strength of the Hyuuga family. I was angry for something that wasn't true."

She bought her hands up to her mouth and made a small noise. She knew she was not talented, she was not fit to be the leader of the oldest and most noble family of Konoha. He was. He could've been the heir... but things turned out this way. This was the direction fate had gone in.

"But at the same time, Hinata-sama, my father died for you... you whom I am supposed to protect. I've never managed to do that. It is my lot in life to protect you, yet I could never accept. I resented you, I hated you. I would've killed you."

He looked out over Konoha and the coming night.

"Now... now, it's different. I've watched you over these years... when I see you, I don't feel the anger anymore... I feel... I feel..."

He was lost for words. He looked at her bowed head, and saw the hands in front of her mouth.

"Look at me."

_What? _

"Hinata. Will you look at me?"

He had dropped the honorific and was just calling her by her name. Slowly, ever so slowly she turned her head and looked at him, looked in his eyes. He reached a hand up to her face

and held her there, gently. But surely.

"From now on, I will protect you Hinata, because I care for you with all my heart. Enough resentment, enough hate. I've wasted enough of my life on that. You are the most special person in the world to me."

Still looking in his eyes, the words came unstuck.

"Ne...Neji-nii-san..."

He smiled softly. But the smile did not quite extend to his eyes.

"Don't call me that."

"Neji...kun. Close your eyes."

For him, sight was his most important sense, but because it was her, he complied and closed his icy eyes.

He felt something soft and feather-light on his lips.

_Neji-kun... I love you._

He opened his eyes again, and saw her, gazing at him. With a look, that could pierce the very soul. The look with the eyes a mirror image of his own.

_The soul that can speak with its eyes can also kiss with a gaze._

XxXxXxX

**A/N: Welcome to my NejiHina! There's lots of fluff to come, so read on! Reviews are always appreciated.**


	2. Frozen

**2 - Frozen**

When I see you Neji, I see cold. Cold outside, cold inside. A frozen soul and a frozen heart. And when you look at me, I feel the coldness too. Frozen feelings, hate... resentment.

_You waste your time with hate and regret_

I know things have been bad for you. I know you hate me... but I can't seem to make myself hate you as well.

_You're broken_

Something within you is broken. Though they are not visable, you have wounds that need healing. I want to heal you, to help you. But I cannot seem to heal myself.

_When your heart's not open_

I don't think that your heart is open... for all that you can see, you are closed to the world. You will not see, you are blind.

But maybe I am blind to you too. I wish I knew you more. I wish I knew everything about you. I wish he could see me the way I see you.  
But behind your byakugan, all I see is hate.

_If I could melt your heart_

But how can I melt a heart that is so frozen? Get through to a person that hates me so much, who I fear, but love?

_We'd never be apart_

I wish you and I could be together. If things were different... if I wasn't so useless, if our places were exchanged, if you were to lead the Hyuuga clan, as it should be.

_Give yourself to me  
_  
One day, things will be different. I have to hold onto that hope, and not give in. That is my way of the ninja. One day, you will see me as I see you, the truth will be defrosted.

_You hold the key_

Maybe now, where there is cold. There will be warmth.

_Now there's no point in placing the blame_

Despite our differences, we are the same. For you to resent me, and try to kill me... I can forgive you. I do not blame you. But for you to do the same is a different thing all together.

I know you are still hurting, that you are just as lonely as I am.

_And you should know I suffer the same_

Everyday, I wish things were different, that I could be as bold as Naruto whom I have always admired. That I could have your talent. I feel alone in my pain, and that all my dreams will never come true.

I wish more than anything that Neji would not hate me. That, hurts more than anything.

_If I lose you_

I may mean nothing to you, but you mean everything to me.

_My heart will be broken_

Maybe my heart is already broken.

_Love is a bird, she needs to fly_

I wonder if you love anybody. If you don't, could you?

_Let all the hurt inside of you die_

Can you forgive... forget? Accept?

_You're frozen_

Look at what you have, instead of dwelling on what you don't have.

Look at me, without hate.

Look at the sun.

Melt.

_When your heart's not open_

One day, when you know what you are really missing, and what is right in front of you. When you forgets the old hurts, and looks ahead, you will feel the warmth again.

_If I could melt your heart_

Oh how I wish I could melt Neji's heart. I wish I could say all of this to him.

But, because I am who I am.

I am Hyuuga Hinata.

I cannot.

XxXxXxX

**A/N: The italics in this chapter are lyrics from a song called Frozen by Madonna. It's one of my favourites and I like it very much.**


	3. Exhibition

**3 - Exhibition**

The wind blew cold and hard, blowing more clouds into the dark grey sky. Though it was barely past noon it was dark like late evening, just after the sun had gone down.

It seemed to Hinata to be a perfect day to die.

When she looked at the young man standing, perfectly poised before her, she could only think that she was going to die today. His expression, cold, yielding nothing... his eyes, even less.

She felt hate towards her eminly a chuunin... he is jounin... he has always been more skilled. And when we fight... he fights seriously, there is nothing that can possibly change his resolve to win.

Neji could tell, that again, Hinata wished that she was not standing before him.

He steeled himself from this fact. As always. After their last fight. He had seen what he had done to her. He had to live with the fact that he would've killed her. That he had hurt her. When it was his job to protect her.:nd when we fight... he fights seriously, there is nothing that can possibly change his resolve to win.

Neji could tell, that again, Hinata wished that she was not standing before him.

He steeled himself from this fact. As always. After their last fight. He had seen what he had done to her. He had to live with the fact that he would've killed her. That he had hurt her. When it was his job to protect her.

He didn't want to do it again.

He could give up.

_This time, it's not that easy. I didn't want to last time, but if I hadn't wanted to fight, I didn't have to... but..._

_They're watching this time._

It was time. To show the strength of the Hyuuga family.

It was inconcievable... to match these two again, when one's skill was obviously so superior over the other. And after their last fight.

But it was not anyone in the village's place to disobey the Hokage's orders. Not even Hyuuga Hiashi, he in fact seemed enthuastic about watching his daughter and nephew fight again, after all these years.

It was one thing to watch them train, body and mind, but it was entirely another to see to people trying in earnest to better one other.

Neji would certainly show off what it meant to be the genius of Hyuuga.

And Hinata... everyone would see if she had changed... if what she had said in the Chuunin exams about improving was true...

This was an exhibition match. The elders of the Hyuuga clan were watching, and even Tsunade had taken time to see the pair fight. One; the pride and joy of the Hyuuga family, one; who was to lead the clan, were to fight.

Again.

There was an expression to describe exactly what Neji looked like at this present moment.

He meant business.

That's what Hinata was to him right now. Business.

But Hinata knew, she knew, that this time she had to regard this fight as business just the same.

It was an exhibition match. But it felt like they stood to lose a lot in the spar...

But there was no time to think now.

"Byakugan!" they whispered together, making the seal of the tiger, and for the first time, meeting each others eyes.

They began.

As the thunder rumbled overhead, Neji threw the first punch, but Hinata's reflexes were extremely well tuned now, and she twisted sideways to avoid it, striking out herself, missing Neji by inches.

"I hope you've improved-" Neji dodged a blow aimed at his shoulder. "-Hinata-sama. But then again. You don't stand to lose as much as last time," he mused, as his palm came close to Hinata's stomach.

She jumped backwards, looking hurt even though he hadn't touched her.

The rain started to fall.

_Is he taunting me...?_

She looked at all the tenketsu glowing on Neji's body, those only she could see now and aimed for the one near his heart just as he aimed st her forearm.

Both missed by a small margin, but once again came forward with long reaching blows that could barely be seen by the naked eye.

The rain fell harder, and on and it went, Neji throwing a punch, Hinata throwing a punch, each trying their hardest, and not one landed on the tenketsu yet.

Half an hour past, and suddenly Neji sprang backwards from Hinata's reach and his foot came from nowhere, sweeping her over onto the muddy grass that was their battleground.

He spread his arms out, as Hinata picked herself up, covered in mud from the ground, and the great symbol appeared beneath him.

"Hakke Rokujuuyon Shou!"

Hinata saw this just in time, she tried to shake her terror and focussed... she could stop this...

She had an absolute defence.

She leapt back from Neji and cried, "Shugo hakke rokujuuyon shou!"

Just as Neji's flurry of blows started, Hinata's defense succeeded. She blocked every one of the 64 blows and when Neji had ended, she paid no attention to the shocked look on his face and hit him hard and square in the chest tenketsu.

He flew backwards, eyes wide.

The crowd held it's collective breath.

Neji was on the ground, and Hinata, stood where she had been standing as she performed her own technique... proof that she had improved.

...Proof that she was strong.

But she was terrified.

She had hit Neji.

He stood up shakily, staring at Hinata... like she was some sort of monster.

_... What happened to... Hinata...?_

She stared back, her stance defeated, like she had just been the one hit. She couldn't believe that she, Hinata, failure of the Hyuugas, had just got one over the genius of the clan.

But slowly, amazingly, breathing hard, shocked... Neji raised his palm.

"...Hinata."

Hinata raised her palm again too... this time, she was not the one defeated.

Drawing back, they both threw their palms forward, and at the same precise moment, their palms collided in a bright blue burst of chakra.

At this point Neji and Hinata both realised something.

Hinata had been right... lives, feelings... people can change.

And they do change.

XxXxXxX

**A/N: My dear friend Lucy deserves so much credit for this fic. She fangirls HinaNeji with me, and is a constant support... even when my fight scenes are so bad that they make Hinata and Neji sound like they're having really rough sex, instead of sparring. xD**

**-winks-**

**Yes, let us praise Lulu.**

**Also, you'll find that I am open to requests... in fact... REQUEST THINGS... doooo ittt... just random plot bunnehs, even single words. I will credit you if I use it, and that means you get to see HinaNeji in even more different ways!  
Yay!**


	4. Tears

**4 - Tears**

Neji split log after log cleanly. His strokes were quick, with speed so great the naked eye could not see them.

He focussed on the wooden poles around him. Pausing. Closing his eyes. Sensing.

After all, Neji knew, there was no point training your body if your mind was not equally as strong.

Gathering the right amount of chakra to his palm tenketsu he breathed in and thrust forward, releasing the energy at just the right moment so that the log not only split, but was completely obliterated.

He opened his eyes as the splinters of wood rained down in the clearing where he was today training. He had put too much force into that last blow. A hit like that would be enough to kill someone easily, and they would die in incredible pain.

The day was calm, there was blue patches of sky in amongst a blanket of grey, and there was a very light breeze which lifted Neji's ponytail and made it wave mournfully in the wind.

Looking at the spot of light that was the sun, he saw that it was about noon, and time for lunch.

He sat against one of the split training poles and unwrapped the small bundle containing omusubi and inari that had been left on the low table for him this morning.

He looked at the small balls of rice, knowing exactly who had made them for him.

"Itadakimasu."

_So much care... in one person. _He thought, taking a small bite.

But he wondered, how can someone be put through so much prejudice and stay kind and just. How has she stayed... _good_?

_Is her existence as lonely as mine_? He pondered whilst chewing. _Does she go through every day wondering if anybody understands? _

_But, _Neji reminded himself. _I am branch family, she is head. I am recognized more than she, yet, there is no way things can change for us. Things cannot change. She is what she is. And I am what I am._

_We cannot change._

Neji heard her small quivering voice as it had been at the chuunin exam.

_"...that is my way of ninja."_

She's still herself, no matter how much she is expected to be stronger, faster... better. She has changed, yet she has stayed the same.

_If anyone can say something for her, it's that she knows who she is._

_I don't feel I can say that..._

After finishing his first riceball, Neji picked up another and held it aloft, looking at it, scrutinizing it, before bringing it to his mouth again.

He stared at the sky, where the sun had escaped the grey prison of the clouds and shone bright and warm on the clearing.

It was a perfect day...

Yet to Neji, there seemed to be something wrong with it.

He finished the second riceball and turned his hands over, looking at the back of them. One bandaged as always, one not.

_I almost killed her._

That thought would never leave his mind.

_I intended to._

It haunted him everyday. Every single day, he remembered, what he almost did. And thanked the universe that by some grace, she did not die.

Still, he had hurt her.

This, he would never be able to forget. Or forgive himself for.

He turned his hands over, looking at his palms, shocked to see that he was shaking.

Though no one was around, Neji chided himself. It was never good to show weakness. Not even to yourself.

Hyuuga tradition taught that it was not good to show any emotion whatsoever.

It was a tall-order, to supress the things everyone has a right to feel everyday.

Perhaps that was why Neji admired Hinata so much. She seemed apart from this, she showed her emotions. Her fear - her happiness when her father acknowledged her.

And she always showed integrity in the fact that, even if she was shy, she was who she was. And she had accepted that.

But she was not like him, believing things are always the way they are. That nothing will ever get better.

_When I think about it... maybe she is stronger than me. Through everything, all the awful days of her life, Hinata has remained true to herself. Her resolve has not changed... she stayed true to her way of the ninja._

_That is something I have not managed to do._

_She, she is a girl apart._

_I am alone in my feelings, and in my way of life. My father is gone, and there is no chance of me being with the girl whom I love. And to the rest of my family, I am the genius of the clan... with nowhere to go. With nothing to rise up to, except overshadowing the one who is meant to have my strength._

The sun shone brighter, and the wind played a symphony through the leaves on the trees along with the birds singing in the forest.

_But... that's not true. She will never stand in anyone's shadow. Because she thinks that by believing in yourself, you can become a new person._

_She has strengthened her resolve._

_... she is stronger._

Neji bought his hands to his face.

_But I know, I know that... nothing can change who we are._

_Nothing._

_We are completely similar in the fact that we are different._

_But she's remained so much better than me._

The bandages on Neji's right hand felt damp, alerting him to the fact that he was crying.

He gave a little gasp to himself.

He hadn't cried in so long... he felt like he showed no emotions. And certainly, he followed one of the proud Hyuuga traditions of stoic calmness.  
Never wearing what he felt on the outside.

But it had built up now. Years and years of being alone. It crushed him body and soul.

He slumped against the post and let the sobs come out, making his body tremble.

_For once, I don't want to be in control._

_I am alone._

But now, he wasn't. He sensed the new presence in the clearing and as suddenly as it had started, he had stopped crying, and was on his feet, kunai in hand.

Across the moss-covered ground stood Hinata, hair shining dark blue in the perfect sun.

She decided to be to the point today. "Neji-nii-san... are you okay?"

"Fine," he replied stiffly.

"... Have you been... crying?" she shook as she said this.

Neji stood calm and tall, and raised the kunai a little.

Hinata saw it, and her icy eyes widened. He was threatening her, she could tell. Maybe she was prying too deeply into matters.

"No. I haven't."

"Why are you here alone...?"

The word hung in the air.

Alone.

Alone.

_Alone._

_... All alone._

There was a very long silence.

"Neji-nii-san?" Hinata enquired uncertainly. There was something about his expression.

He looked faraway. And so sad.

"Neji..."

Before her eyes, almost in slow motion, Neji brought his hands to his face and fell to his knees.

He was crying.

There was no doubt now.

Hinata stood above him, eyes wide. What could she do? What should she do? Neji never showed his feelings...

And now, he had broken down.

But she could tell, but his broken, shattered, trembling demeanour, he needed healing.

Slowly, ever so slowly she knelt down beside him and without thinking about it, without fear, she put two gentle arms securely around him.

"Talk to me..." she whispered to him. "Tell me..."

There was no reply for about a minute. Choking. Sobbing.

"I-I'm... alone..."

Hinata stared at the trees over Neji's shoulder as she heard this.

Something she felt all the time

"You're not alone Neji-nii-san..." she murmured resting he forehead on top of his glossy black hair.

She paused, getting the courage to say the words.

"I'm here," she whispered. "And if I'm here, we're together... alone together."

There was a harsh breath and the boy in her arms raised his head, looking painfully beautiful with his white eyes swimming with tears.

They locked eyes.

Neji blinked slowly once, and then kissed Hinata on the forehead... exactly where her curse seal would've been if she was a member of the branch family.

Like him.  
He breathed the words softly into her skin.

"...Together alone."

XxXxXxX

**A/N: Why can't I write anything but angst, fluff and sappiness...! -wibbles-**

**Right! I'm off to start a crack fic... I think this rotted my teeth!  
**


	5. Kimono

**5 - Kimono**

Whenever Neji saw Hinata in a kimono, something within him softened. Ever since the day he first saw her, in a a beautiful kimono of delicate orange and patterned with the same flowers that danced around in the wind, he hadn't been able to get it out of his mind. That softness, that beauty.

Then he had smiled at her. And still, he could always, always smile at the memory of it.

To him, there was nothing to compare to it.

When he saw Hinata in a kimono, everything stopped, and hatred was forgotten.

But today, he knew, it was different.

There was something different about the way she looked today.

Something sad.

Something incredibly happy.

He saw her today, so beautiful, wearing a kimono as white as powder snow. Simple from afar. Up close, breath-taking. Intricate patterns in silvery white thread of cranes and sakura blossoms caught in a wind that did not exist on this perfect day.

It was perfect for Hinata.

And he knew, after the last 20 years. She deserved it. For being doubted, scrutinized, judged, insulted, hated... Hinata deserved the happiness that today, that this kimono was going to bring her.

No matter how painful it now was for Neji.

Something seemed so wrong about where he was in all of this.

He looked at her, now before him.

She should've been beside him.

Smiling in that shy way of hers, he ached for her. Happiness was radiating from her, and she looked so magestic. But somehow, empathetic.

For once, she was using her eyes to sense what others were feeling.

She bowed her head. She hadn't been certain that he would come. "Welcome, thankyou for coming, Neji-nii-san..."

He flinched at that. Long ago... during a time that was so fleeting and perfect, but now forever gone, she had dropped the honorific. And she had just called him Neji.

Neji with tenderness.

Neji with love.

Neji bowed his head down. Eyes averted.

"Congratulations, Hinata-sama."

"Thankyou."

Why did it have to change?

There was silence. Both could sense its awkwardness, yet both were reluctant to leave... Neji because he knew this was the last time he would see her as she was right now. A reminder of all the times they had shared.

And Hinata, she sensed something was wrong with Neji. The way he looked at her made her remember.

"You look beautiful," Neji whispered suddenly. "White suits you."

Hinata's heartbeat quickened a little. "Thankyou."

"But I still will like you best in the first kimono I ever saw you in. This one is sad. It means things can't be the same."

He smiled softly and walked away, merging into the crowd leaving Hinata stunned.

Suddenly, a tickling, happy, whispery voice sounded in her ear.

"Hinata. It's time."

_Kiba._

Hinata looked up at her husband to be, and couldn't help but remember things that once were between her and another person.

And how this day could've been very different. This man standing here, could've been very different.

But now she had to live with the eternal, _what if..._

Slowly, she smiled at Kiba and nodded her head slightly. "Mm."

XxXxXxX

**A/N: I'm dying of fluff here.**

**Please, if you're reading, leave me a review - comment, critism, ANYTHING.**

**Please :3!**


	6. Waterfall

**6 - Waterfall (alternatively; Dance /or/ Naked)**

"Follow me!" Hinata yelled in delight, pulling me along by my hand. She hiccoughed and then beamed again. "I've got something wonderful to show you Neji-nii-san!"

She laughed. It was a joyous, musical sound and I couldn't help but join in with her. Maybe it was the copious amounts of sake that she and I had consumed at the oshogatsu celebrations we had just partaked in, but now; this joy... this mood, felt so right. And so warm.

"Where are we going!" I laughed as she nearly dragged me into a tree.

"It's a secret!" she yelled back. "But you'll find out!"

We continued to run through the darkened scrub and undergrowth, crashing carelessly through everything in our path. Laughing. Happy.

After a time, we emerged breathless by a river fed by a huge waterfall. The continuous flow of water was like a roar of some sort of large monster. And the falls certainly were large... ominously so.

But overall, they were beautiful. The spray of water caught bits of light from the village's celebrations and glittered enchantingly. The sound also seemed to be calling to me, and the deep pools beneath the falls looked so clean and cool. Inviting, on an unusually warm night for this time of year such as tonight.

I caught Hinata watching me. Her eyes shone with a mystery, an excitement.

"A waterfall?" I enquired softly.

She nodded and smiled mischieviously.

"I train here sometimes."

That seemed right. This place fit her

I had never encountered this side of Hinata. Perhaps it only came out after alcohol consumption.

In which case, I would have to get her drunk more often.

I loved her like this. She didn't seem sad in her shyness... she seemed more... mysterious... more alluring.

Suddenly, she was blushing and her smile turned more shy than mysterious. She broke our hands apart, I hadn't even realised our fingers were still linked together. She then brought her fingers tips together to her face and made to speak, once, twice, three times...

"Ne-Neji-nii-san..."

I put my head on one side, thinking how beautiful she was right now. It could've been the fact that I was slightly inebriated, but she had never seemed so wonderous and bright. Standing, blushing, hair swept up in an almost careless matter, so that strands spilled out and sat on her shoulders and the loose bun was fixed with small pink flowers. Gorgeous in a dark blue kimono and a silver and gold obi, embroidered with a city at night and river patterns. The threads of sliver that ran through the patterns flashed in the lights of the latterns that lit the nearby village.

She was breathtaking.

"What is it Hinata-sama?"

"Eto... eto... Neji-nii-san... would you- would you dance with me?"

My heart quickened almost painfully within my chest.

"Here? Now?"

"Not here..." she pointed to the deep blue pool below the waterfall. "There."

"In the water?"

She nodded twice, eyes shining.

I felt myself beaming at her as she looked on nervously. This was such a perfect night, she was so beautiful... the night was beautiful... everything seemed so perfect.

So perfect that nothing could go wrong ever again. No matter what had happened. It was all okay.

"Of course I will dance with you." I looked her up and down. She was wearing a kimono that had most probably been her mother's and thus an heirloom of the Hyuuga women, and subsequently priceless. "But what about your kimono?"

At these words, she gave a frightened little gasp and covered her mouth with her hand, going bright pink all over her face.

"Ehhh... I meant - I meant..." she trailed off.

"Hmm?"

"When I train here - I... well, I- I... don't wear clothes..."

She said the last bit so quietly that I couldn't hear it over the constant pounding sounds of the water cascading down.

"What did you say?"

She looked down, away.

"I - I... Neji... will you... will you dance... dance na-naked with me?"

I was so shocked I laughed out loud. But for joy. She went so pink after this announcement... and was so shy that even a request that scandalous could seem innocent.

But, damn...

"Naked...?" I repeated... now a little less calm, a little more nervous than I was before. But still, most of me was singing out in joy.

She nodded again... pinker than ever.

"Uh, uh... okay then," I replied. Then I strengthened my voice just a little. "I'll dance with you, no matter what."

She smiled again now, and I felt the warm feeling again. The feeling that only she could inspire in me.

Then we were looking at each other. Although her face was pink, her eyes were daring me to start first.

To get naked.

Of course, when assenting to dance naked with Hinata, I hadn't really considered the fact that _I, _Neji, would have to take my hakama off, and essentially... be naked myself. In front of Hinata...

And she'd be naked too.

I felt the heat in my body flood to my face.

Then she spoke again.

"I need help... with my obi."

I looked at her like she was some foreign creature. Getting naked was one thing, but undressing Hinata...

I could only assent and gulp as she turned around.

The obi knot bedecking the back of the kimono was the most complicated thing I'd ever seen. I didn't know where to start. Nothing I had trained on or been told about covered undoing an obi knot.

Slowly, I put my fingers on a likely looking loopy thing and pulled.

Eventually, the whole knot came apart in my hands, and the band loosened a little.

Her own hands then came into sight and took both ends off the obi gently out of my hands.

"Thankyou," she acknowledged me in a barely audible voice.

She unravelled the whole obi and let it and its ornaments and pretty ties coil uncerimoniously on the ground, then unknotted two more ties holding the kimono together.

My eyes could not stray from her hands now. She was taking off the beautiful midnight-blue over kimono, leaving her standing, glowing, in the white under kimono... almost as beautiful as the outer.

I became dimly aware that I should be doing the same.

I fumbled a few times on the waistband of my hakama until I was finally able to loosen the knot a little. Soon enough, I had the whole outer garment off and stood too in a white undergarment tied loosely at the waist.

By this time, she had shed all her clothing and was standing before me, pale, perfect.

Naked.

Hinata, naked.

Suddenly, she smiled again, blushed bright red, and ran splashing but barely making a sound, into the awaiting river.

I could barely comprehend this night.

When it had started, it was just like any other oshogatsu celebration in Konoha, but now it was infinitely more exciting.

I was about to dance naked under a waterfall with the girl I had loved secretly for over two years.

Then, I too, without a scrap of clothing, entered the water. Yet where Hinata had run in gracefully, I waded carefully, eyes on her now.

We stared at each other now. I was waist deep, and she had ducked down so only her head and shoulders were visable. Her hair was ruined, as was her make-up. But her priceless kimono was also in a heap back on the bank.

And neither of us cared.

She looked at me, blushing. So beautiful. And I remembered we were here to dance. I held a hand out to here, letting the warmth take over, trying not to think about it too much.

What I saw from there, I never expected from Hinata. There was something so magical about the way she used her techniques to dance. She was enchanting.

We danced together under that waterfall until first light and walked back into the Hyuuga compound hand in hand just on the edge of dawn.

XxXxXxX

**A/N: If anyone here has been watching the filler episodes of Naruto lately, you would've seen "Sailor Hinata" dancing naked under the waterfall. I decided to adapt that and add Neji in. It makes it much more fun... still, sorry for the huge wait on the updates.  
**

**BEAN! (that was my beta's fault).**

**Heh.**

**Hope you liked. I think it was a little bit of humourous break from all the sappiness... and fluff... which we love, but PWP always has a place in my heart too. I think they were both a little OOC too... but we'll blame the sake.**

**By the by, oshogatsu means new year :3**

**Also, a bone to pick... in the anime and manga of Naruto, where are the Hyuuga mothers hmm? We all know Neji lost his father, and of course, there's Hiashi... but come on... were Neji and Hinata mothered by prostitutes! Do their mothers live down a trapdoor somewhere that Hiashi enters occasionally? ;D Or are their mothers dead too...? I'm so curious.**


	7. Letter

**7 - Letter**

_Dear Neji-nii-san,_

_There are a million reasons why I shouldn't be writing this, and another million reasons why I should. But words have never come to me easily, I am always I will say something that will hurt someone or make them angry._

_I have no idea how to say what I want to say to you, even though I am writing it down. For certainly, I couldn't say it to your face.  
I have thought a lot about what I could really be feeling - and why... why I feel the way I do when I look at you now._

_It's wrong, all wrong... I know it is. I shouldn't feel like this. But I can't supress it - and sometimes, I don't want to._

_I know you hate me, and I accept that. Maybe I deserve it, for what you have had to endure Neji-nii-san. But even your feelings of hatred cannot change mine. I wish they could._

_Everything is telling me that the way I feel is wrong - bad. But I cannot help it._

_And I don't need anything except for you knowing how I feel._

_Neji, I love you._

_What you choose to do now is up to you - you can pretend I don't exist, hate me more, confront me...  
But understand that no matter what I cannot hate you as you do me. I've tried. I really have. But my attempts seem only to have made my feelings stronger._

_After writing these words, I don't know what I hope to achieve. I may cause more trouble than our family already has. _

_But then again, I am always the source of the trouble anyway._

_I think I just needed to tell someone how I felt - and you are the only one that needs to know. Do with it what you will. I do not expect anything more than for you to read these words. That is all._

_I hope you understand why I wrote this._

_-Hinata_

I finished that letter and left it on his bed. I don't know if he got it, or if he even kept reading after his first sentence. But all these days afterwards his training has been lasting from early morning until late at night, and he never dined with the rest of us anymore. He hasn't said a word to me either, and his gaze is still as cold and as painful as ever.

But what was I expecting?

Certainly not what happened exactly one month after I wrote that letter.

I was sitting on the verandah reading late that night. I saw him - Neji approaching. Back from a mission with Lee and Ten Ten. I had arrived from my training with Kiba-kun and Shino-kun long before. He had missed dinner once again and the majority of the house had already retired for the night. Silence reigned, making every one of his movements like a thunderclap on a calm sea.

Neji always worked hard and spent all spare time he had training his body and his mind.

He is truly the genius of our clan.

I didn't think much of his late arrival until I realised he was heading towards me. I could see him clearly as he came closer - he was staring at me.

I dared not breathe.

When he reached my side he towered over me; standing while I was sitting. I could not pretend just to have noticed him; I had heard the gate open and close and looked up then - besides the byakugan always sees, and he of course, knew that.

But I could not look straight at him, so I stared at the pale wooden planks of the verandah.

"Hinata-sama."

His voice showed no emotion whatsoever. Practised as he was, at masking his every emotion.

I said nothing. But he continued:

"I read your letter."

My head was screaming at me to run, to hide. I was so frightened.

But he said nothing after that and he didn't seem to be expecting a reaction. He reached into his kunai-holder and put a folded piece of paper on top of my book, then removed his shoes and went inside.  
I did not move for a long time. I could see him though, inside, calmly eating a bowl of rice. His expression was unchanged.

Eventually, with trembling fingers I opened the paper.

As opposed to my letter, it was a note. It only said two words.

_**Forgive me.**_

Suddenly Neji was by my side again.

"I feel the same," he said, looking at the letter he held in his own pale hands.

My letter.

It was so creased that it was barely readable now. It looked as if it had been screwed up many times, but then flattened out again and folded up.

"I don't know what to think either Hinata-sama."

There was a pause.

"But I can't hate you anymore."


	8. Dream

**8 - Dream (alternatively; Different)**

_My father didn't approve of my new girlfriend, I could tell. But I had been given his lecture so many times that it was now meaningless, and frankly, annoying. "You are the future leader of this clan. And you must be willing and able to back this up," he always said. "If I am to condone a woman in your life, she must be - the right kind."_

_By this he meant Hyuuga._

_But I wasn't planning to have a baby with my girlfriend Ten Ten by any means, so the byakugan wasn't in any danger. It almost seemed like we were talking about diluting something. The byakugan would be weakened if both parents did not carry one themselves. So anyone without one just wasn't good enough._

_I recieved a kiss on the cheek from Ten Ten and I watched her progress as she ran back towards the village where her mother was probably waiting to scold her. _

_Ten Ten's mother did not like me._

_And I in turn did not like Ten Ten's mother._

_I turned my gaze towards the water beneath the stone bridge I was standing on. It was clear and sparkling, almost beckoning you to run you hands through the stream as it chuckled a path through the smooth stones. All around the crystalline blue skies and warm breeze were the perfect backdrop for the willow trees and bamboo dancing about the bridge on the stream's banks. _

_I liked this place. Probably more than any other. I had many memories here. Good soft memories from when times were better. It was a peaceful and untroubled place, almost like it was seperate from everywhere else._

_That's why we buried her here._

_I shoved my hands into my pockets and traced the slow familiar steps from the bridge the tall shining stone that marked her grave. Wild flowers grew around now, helped along by the Yamanaka clan and their flower shop. Pinks, whites, reds and blues nodding their heads in the breeze._

_I stood before the grave._

_I remembered how painful it was when it happened. And how I couldn't share my pain._

_The day of her funeral was just like this, so sunny and bright - not fitting for a day like that._

_I know I could have prevented her passing._

_I could have been stronger._

_It could have been her standing over my grave._

_And now, I couldn't make myself forget everything about her: her eyes, her shy smile, the way she'd put her fingertips together when she was nervous but happy, the times we had together. Who she was as a person. Over time, the details were not drowned out. I can forget nothing._

_Most of all I wish I could forget holding her in my arms as she died, bleeding, crying - in great pain. And the hole that I can't fill now that she's gone._

_My father did indeed have cause to worry. I would never marry another Hyuuga, let alone procreate with one.There was only ever one for me. And she was here, buried in this beautiful glade._

Here she would remain.

_She died at 17 years-old. Yet I would never forget her, even if my lifetime was to span all the eternities of the universe._

_I stared at the name carved into the stone:_

_Hyuuga Hinata._

_If only things were different._

_I sighed and turned around, heading home._

_For her, I would lead our clan._

_XxXxXxX_

Neji awoke in the pale light of dawn. Although it was warm, he felt undeniably cold. The dream vibrated in his thoughts sending shivers down his spine. It was so vivid. It felt like reality- showing things as he truly desired them.

If they were different.

But difference came with a heavy price it seemed:

Hinata's life.

In his mind's eye Neji saw timid little Hinata wearing a pretty pink Kimono, flowers all around her. Smiling. At him. Now, Neji could not imagine his life without her. Even in the smallest ways. Even for what he wished his life could be like -

Hinata was too much of a price to pay.


	9. Tradition

**9 - Tradition**

Hinata knelt in front of her father on the tatami. As usual his face revealed nothing. Yet no matter what, Hinata always dreaded these sort of meetings with her father. They barely ever meant good news for her.

Quite the opposite in fact.

"Hinata-" Hiashi began. He sounded very weary, as if suddenly old. But still he was strong. Still the powerful leader of the oldest and most noble clan in Konoha. "You are of an age where new horizons are becoming clear to you. You are staring your future in the face and you will have to take what comes with your head held high."

Hinata swallowed, averting her eyes. Something about this meeting already didn't seem right.

"I-I don't understand..."

"You have obligations to this family- to yourself- to me."

For Hinata, the room seemed colder, smaller. The future frightened her. Maybe because she could never believe that she would ever have a future worthwhile. She, who was a failure. _The _failure to the Hyuuga clan.

"Whether or not you believe it, you can bring this clan glory and joy. That others will envy in more than one way."

He paused, more for effect than anything. But he could sense and see that his daughter wished she could be anywhere but here.

"But your future lies in your hands, Hinata. One day you will be a wife-" he whet his lips and stared her down, relentlessly. "A mother. And regarding these things, decisions must be made... traditions, upheld."

He had arrived at his point. What this discussion was about. What every member of this clan had to know.

"Tra- tradition?" Hinata's tiny voice shook.

"You are of an age where you can start your future _with _someone."

Hinata blushed bright pink, embarrassed when she realised what her father was really trying to tell her. She could tell also, that in some way her father was embarrassed. The way he was talking, repeating himself often. Yet it never showed in his face. He was practiced at remaining completely expressionless, as were all of the Hyuugas, except Hinata... who did not possess the same skill at masking what she felt.

"Now. If you are to do this, it must be the right _someone_."

Hinata got pinker by the second.

"There is tradition in this family. We are strong. We must stay strong. We must have the byakugan."

He paused heavily and at length spoke again. He seemed to both appreciate and loathe his daughter's silence.

"I hope you may have realised this before, but for the byakugan to be... _pure_...both parents of a Hyuuga child must have one."

Hinata was no fool. She now understood completely.

"Tradition says that anyone you choose to _link _with must have a byakugan. And must therefore be Hyuuga."

Hinata stared. She opened her mouth, wanting to say all the things that came to her head. This would make her a prisoner.

Instead she asked a soft question, eyes down on her lap. "Is this- is this the same for all Hyuugas?"

"It is," her father replied bluntly. "Our bloodline limit is the most important asset. You know the lengths we have gone to in the past to protect it... my brother..." he trailed off. "Hyuugas have given their lives for the byakugan. We cannot weaken it, Hinata. I know you will understand in time."

"I do understand," she replied, almost having trouble forming the poisonous words of the truth. "When I marry and... have children... it will be with a Hyuuga. None... none other."

Hyuuga Hiashi nodded slowly, terribly. He sealed her fate. His words were true. Years of affection for Naruto... they could go nowhere. She was limited to a life she was born into. Traditions were there because she was Hyuuga, and her eyes were the eyes of a long history.

But Hiashi had not finished yet.

"But you don't understand fully Hinata. You know that Hyuuga is essentially divided in two. This is merely the way things are. You must comply with more of our tradition and not only choose a Hyuuga, but a Hyuuga from the head family."

Hinata's eyes were wide now. Her first thought was of how unfair this was to them all. How cruel...

She stood up, finding her legs shaky, barely supporting her. She had no way to express the feelings inflaming her heart, so she bowed.

"Thank you very much for your time, chichi-ue."

He looked at her face, dissecting her innermost thoughts one by one. With the Hyuugas, nothing could be private.

"Hinata. It is no cruel fate. You will come to accept it. As I did. As everyone has."

Hinata bowed her head even more.

"Now. Could you find Neji for me? I desire to speak with him also."

The shy lilac-white of Hinata's byakugan widened.

She understood now... she understood everything. Yet she knew he wouldn't be able to accept this fate like she had. This caged them more.

But even she didn't know how she felt about that.


	10. Blue

**10 – Blue**

By all rights she shouldn't exist. She should never have been born into a family that had no place for her and no way of acknowledging her without scandal, shame and spitting in the face of tradition that the foundation of their clan was built on. But no one could say that to a small baby, perfect in her mother's arms. Sleeping, even as her mother cried and cried.

Hinata pleaded with her father, tall and menacing before her. She asked for compassion and got no answer, she asked for him to remember what it was like holding her and Hanabi for the first time to which she only got a sneer. This was a man who would sacrifice both his own daughters for any cause he saw fit. Emotion was impossible to see in him.

As far as he was concerned, Hinata's baby was Hinata's baby and she had nothing to do with him.

Hiashi told Hinata this and with a look of utter contempt at mother and child, he swept from the room.

Tears blurring even her vision, Hinata looked down at her baby... only days old. She was a baby that shouldn't exist, Hinata knew this. But what she knew even more certainly than that was what she had felt when she first held her baby... and looked into her clear... blue... eyes.

Blue as sky.

In this... she was not Hyuuga. She could never be Hyuuga. She could never be accepted. She was an outsider who just happened to be the flesh of the heiress. Hinata cried and cried for a baby that had no place to belong. Her daughter that she couldn't give the life that she deserved to. She understood that her father was bound by tradition and the shame that surrounded one infant.

Just because she had blue eyes.

It barely even mattered who the father was and that Hinata was not married to him. The only thing that did matter was that Hyuuga Honami did not have the most important bloodline of the clan, and was therefore not one of them. Useless. Normal. Just like everybody else.

She didn't know how long she cried, rocking her daughter and not knowing what she would do. Desire and responsibility formed into a monster, tearing her apart from inside out. She wept until tears were meaningless, but she was unable to stop them. She cried until someone heard her.

Neji.

Walking along outside, watching the sky empty itself on Konoha, he saw her before he heard her. Kneeling with head bowed over her baby before a wall scroll, looking like she was offering something to God. He stood by the doors that Hiashi had left open, knowing that she wouldn't notice him until he made his presence known.

Added to her tears were the tears of her child soon enough, woken by the cold breeze coming through the doors and her mother's sounds of anguish, she opened those cursed blue eyes and screeched the little ear-splitting screech that babies often did.

Hinata seemed to be roused by this, she sat up straighter and stopped crying except for the slightest sniffle. Something clicked in her, and she shifted her yukata down to reveal her breast then guided Honami's head to it until she latched on and began to feed.

Neji watched all of this, unsure of what he was feeling. When the baby was born, only five days ago he was angry... so angry.

Anger turned to fury as that baby opened her little eyes and stared at him.

So blue.

He swept out of the room then, and avoided Hinata and her child easily enough. Avoiding word of them was not though. Mother and child were the talk of the clan. The blue eyes were infamous and cursed. Hiashi was rumoured to have been mediating for days, speaking to no one. Everyone wondered what he would do. Then there was that question that floated around in whispers.

_Who is the father?_

Neji had thought... he had thought... he had assumed... because of a night months ago...

For the umpteenth time he dismissed the thought from his mind. It was not a thought he should be thinking. It was not something he should've done. And it was certainly not something he should remember.

This was the fate that Hinata needed to deal with.

He watched her close her yukata as the child fell asleep once more and let out a long breath as tears came back to her eyes. Fate would not be kind to this child. Even Neji, who resented his place in life, was thankful that his fate was not that of this little baby with blue eyes. This baby had no place here, and never could.

At least he had a place to resent.

Closing his eyes, Neji tried to gather his thoughts and leave. Yet when he tried to walk his legs would not move him. He needed to stay, and go in there. He needed to know... he needed to talk to her...

Fury or not.

He slipped off his shoes and closed the doors behind him as he entered the large room. There wasn't much to it, a large expanse of bare tatami and various decoration about the walls and corners. The main feature was a beautiful woman, blank eyes drowning in tears.

She looked up and her saw her terror clearly.

"Neji... nii-san..."

He knelt beside her and said nothing, trying to weigh his feelings out.

"You brought this upon yourself, Hinata-sama."

She hung her head and inwardly wondered why she had expected tenderness from Neji on this occasion. It was rare that he would show it towards her, but now, she needed it the most. She needed one friend in the clan. One person who still believed there was hope for her... and now, the newest Hyuuga.

"I will not pretend to approve of the situation, but I will say that I do pity the fate you have to bear and the fate this child will inevitably face because of what has happened."

She understood what he was saying, and she guessed it was the best she could've hoped for. Obviously, she was still a fool, thinking it was possible to change yourself. Changing the way things have been for so many years, is impossible.

And nothing could change this.

Reality just made her cry more.

"What will you do, Hinata-sama?" Neji asked, no compassion in his tone. But no condemnation either.

They were both looking at Honami as she replied.

"I... don't... know."

Neji let the silence broken by her sobs stretch on after that. He looked at the baby and imagined how different it would be if those eyes opened to be the purple-white of a byakugan.  
That could save them both.

Now, he could see no hope, nor any reason to hope for it.

"She resembles you, Hinata-sama. Her skin and hair are like yours. She looks like you... with blue eyes."

_Blue eyes._

A silence took the room again. The rain was the constant, able to be heard on the roof in the gathering darkness. The sky over Konoha seemed to weeping for the situation too, grey and murky it had started three days ago and not ceased since.

"I need to ask, before I leave you again... you do not have to answer," Neji paused as Hinata braced herself for what was coming. "Who is the father? I did not ask you when you were pregnant... no one but for Hiashi-sama did, and he did not inform anyone of whether he knew or not. But I ask you now. Who is it, Hinata-sama? I will not tell anyone."

Hinata gathered enough courage to look at him with wide eyes. The were blood-shot from crying so much, so she had the appearance of someone driven to insanity and unable to return.

But at least they weren't blue.

"If... if I tell you... you won't believe me. You won't."

"Tell me, Hinata-sama."

Hinata looked down again, and adjusted the white blanket around her daughter.

"She is your daughter, Neji."

If Hinata had not been holding an infant, Neji would've hit her.

"Lies!" he hissed. "That's impossible... she-"

Flinching as though he had actually hit her, Hinata shook her head. Again and again and again. She'd thought the same thing, but Neji was her first and her only... and approximately nine months prior to Honami's birth- it could _only _be the man sitting next to her, fury running across his noble features.

Before she knew what was happening, Neji had activated his byakugan and surveyed her face, especially her eyes. After a minute, he stopped and his eyes returned to normal, but his face did not relax. Now he looked terrified. And the truth was, this was the most afraid he'd been in his life. Not for just himself, but for these two who had just became bound to him with this truth.

"You're not lying."

Hinata shook her head again. "It could only be you because it was only you... at that time... I didn't tell you because... I..."

"But her eyes, Hinata-sama! We both have the byakugan, how can they be blue?"

Hinata traced two fingertips over her daughter's face, all that paper-thin flesh... "I've asked myself the same question since she first opened her eyes."

Neji stayed silent. What could he do? What could be done?

Hinata turned to him, "Now what will you do, Neji-nii-san? Will you run? Will you hate us?"

"I will protect you both."

It was unbidden that that came out of his mouth so easily. So quickly. But as he said it, he realised the words were true. He would not have said it if the baby was not his. These past five days, the thoughts that Hinata had been with someone else had been torturing his mind with the fury they left in their wake. But everything confirmed... in some twisted reality, that fury abated to numbness.

Still numbness did not change his resolve.

"...What?" Hinata looked at him, daring... daring to hope.

"...I want to protect you... now that I know the truth."

Even at this happy news, Hinata could only cry more, she leaned forward even with Honami between them and kissed him on the cheek, not knowing what she could say to this.

With Neji, maybe they could survive. After all, a mother, a father and a daughter. That was a family. Maybe... somehow, even though something had gone wrong and their daughter had blue eyes, maybe they could make it right.

As Hinata pulled away, she asked Neji, "Do you want to hold her?"

He looked up into her eyes and wondered why fate had chosen this path and where it would take them now. But he gave the smallest of smiles and assented, doing the thing he'd been dreaming about for months...

And held his daughter.


	11. Nightstand

**11 – Nightstand**

Passing the guards of this place isn't easy, but if you are here late at night in the quiet cool air of the compound there is a place you can go to see a pair that are the talk to the clan. If you follow the direction of the polished floor boards- cherry wood, a pinkish roan even in the low light, down the corridor all the way to the end you will find a set of sliding paper screen doors. They are decorated with the faintest of ink paintings. Cranes, carp and lilies as well as sakura trees shedding their spring petals all over the doors. Fine work. A wedding present, the owners would proudly say, when asked.

If you go through these doors, taking care to remove your shoes in the entranceway and venture through the kitchen and living area you will smell the lingering scent of yakisoba that was lovingly prepared by her hours before and hear the _drip drip _of the faucet in the kitchen sink, not quite turned off properly.

If you pass the wall scrolls, flower arrangements and kotatsu downstairs and then proceed up a narrow staircase you will find three doors to three rooms. One is filled with weapons of all kinds, scrolls, secrets and a writing desk. His room.

Another is traditional. Sparsely decorated, there is a koto on the floor, ready to be played. The scent of more flowers, able to be traced back to peach blossoms on long branches next to an unfinished wall scroll. A beautiful piece of work, reading "the destiny of our clan that we...". It is clear that the artist is no stranger to the art form that calligraphy is. Her room.

The door in the middle leads to _their _room. If you go in here you will not find much. There is an ancient wardrobe on one side, slightly ajar, showing both male and female clothes and shoes. Stacked boxes too, flat, containing folded kimono and yukata. Priceless heirlooms that they both wear when they are required to, or the occasion is appropriate. The two most precious kimono are not here however, they are put away in the attic, undisturbed, but definitely remembered.

There is a large window on one wall behind the double futon which is the main feature of the room. The white curtains that are sheer anyway are left open, fluttering in the light breath of the night. You are able to see far over the village and to the Hokage's mountain below a starry sky and a quarter moon. These things light up the room. You are above the strings of crisscrossed lanterns that are like glowing pearls on giant necklaces and can see all the homes and shops beneath them. In those buildings below, people are sleeping and dreaming. Maybe tossing or turning. Maybe studying, or fretting for a loved one on a mission. Or maybe in the arms of a loved one. Intimately or not. Asleep or awake.

In this room the pair are asleep. You are only just able to see them under the pure white comforter, heads close together and his arms around her. One of her hands is on her chest. They both wear light sleeping robes, but are not cold, because they're together. It is not always like this. They are both away from this what they call their home often, but they always return. And it's so perfect to them, it seems like they always will. They'll put themselves in danger and even get hurt sometimes. But it's all okay, because they can be together.

If you don't know who they are, you can draw your eyes to the scroll on the wall with their names and the clan symbol on it. Or, you could move closer to the nightstand. There you will find two haite-ate with the symbol that means they are proud shinobi of Konoha, taken off for the night, but worn at all other times.

And behind a glass of water you will see them, together immaculate and awe-inspiring in black and white. Proud and majestic, smiling despite. A photo of two people on their wedding day. Two people happy. Two people with white eyes and big dreams.

Then you'll know who they are.


	12. Leaving

**12 – Leaving**

A/N: M chapter. You have been warned. I just didn't want to change the rating of the whole story. So if your eyes are too innocent to read such ratings, do not read on.

XxXxXxX  


Watching Neji fight was like watching an artist work on a masterpiece. The flares of blue chakra were the paint, his hands were the brush and any ground he was on was his canvas. As the broken circle appeared beneath him, he felled an enemy (be it human or wood) or protected himself with kaiten you could see that this was what he was good at. This was his calling. He was the ancient power of the Hyuuga clan embodied in one being, born in the wrong place and so marked. Wings clipped, he couldn't fly as high as he deserved.

With Neji, there was only so far he could go. With all his strength he'd go up and up and up and get more and more powerful... but then, he'd stop. There would be nowhere else to go and it would become obvious that there was a cage around his potential.

From afar, Hinata longed to know what he thought of that now. She remembered the chuunin exams of course... how could she not? But what did he think now? For him, she could even rationalise what Itachi Uchiha was rumoured to have thought. That his clan was only holding him back, without them he could reach his full potential. She of course didn't agree with what he did, but it was certainly true that the name of Hyuuga was holding Neji back.

So why was she the one leaving then?

That was Neji's question when she'd first told the family that she was joining ANBU and was leaving the Hyuuga compound. Her father was so proud that they'd accepted her that he allowed her to leave, and her sister gave a nod of what must've been acknowledgment. But Neji could only follow her after she left dinner and ask why she was leaving them.

And now as she prepared to go far away to her first assignment, he asked her the question again.

"Why are you leaving?"

For the life of her, she didn't know what he felt as he asked this question. She strapped her weapons holder to her leg and made sure she had sufficient kunai, shuriken and anything else she may need. In there, she also carried a picture from long ago with Neji, her, and both their mothers and fathers all dressed up in kimono for hanami- but she wouldn't show that to Neji.

Tying the kitsune mask that she had been given to the side of her head she looked at him, preparing himself for the routine searching of his face for his meaning and emotion. But she found she didn't need to look to find what was there.

Sadness, anger.

"Why are you leaving Hinata... sama?"

Usually, it would seem inappropriate for Neji to be in her room, but she did not send him away by any means. She didn't want to. It hurt seeing him right now in the first light of dawn that was filtering through her window... lighting him up like an archangel and she didn't know why. She wondered how to answer him... if she should answer him anyway. What if she didn't come back? If she was hurt? With any mission it was possible, but ANBU was the proverbial "big league". She owed him something. After all... she knew it should be him allowed to break free from the hold that the clan had on him. Not her.

"I need..." She paused and unconsciously moved closer to Neji. "I need to be somewhere where nothing is holding me back..."

There was a sharp intake of breath from Neji and Hinata realised she was having to look up at him now. He'd grown tall and his shoulders had widened. He was the archangel... wings clipped and eyes blank.

She continued looking directly at him, but seeming like she wasn't seeing him or truly talking to him it all. It almost seemed like she was telling herself all these things. That she was explaining to herself why she was leaving.

"I need to be able to fight and heal without people judging me... thinking I am incapable or that I need to be protected..."

She'd grown, Neji would give her that. Body, mind and soul had grown into this new young woman who could talk without a stutter but still have her heart beating like the flapping of a hummingbird's wings. She could look him in the eyes now. But still, she was plagued by expectations... and held back by the same thing he was in a totally different way.

"I need to learn to be my own person, on my own- without the name of Hyuuga being the only thing that makes me who I am."

Neji did not say anything. He didn't need to today, his face was saying it all for him, expressive like a painting. But he spoke regardless.

"You will never stop being Hyuuga, Hinata-sama."

"I know that... and I think you do understand what I mean, Neji-nii-san."

He gave one brisk nod and exhaled through his nose. "I understand... I understand because this is something that_ I _should be doing."

Hinata gave her own nod and tried to stop her eyes filling with tears. The room was fully lit now, and the day was bright and cheerful, promising warmth and sunshine until nightfall. But she was so cold. She wore all black except for the white ANBU vest, a tan skirt and her arms bandaged in white the way Neji's used to be when he was younger. He'd noticed this when he first came into the room, but said nothing. She looked quite impressive in the uniform as well, stronger... more independent. A new person. To this though, he had also said nothing.

There was nothing to fill the silence this time. The time was nigh for Hinata to depart, but there were still things that needed to be said up in the air, just waiting to be picked out and said by either of them.

"You've always carried the weight of the world on your shoulders, Hinata-sama. It was something that everyone else told you you needed to do, so you did it. And now you think that going away is a solution to that, taking the weight off and leaving it here."

"It's not like that..."

"You're right, it isn't like that. The weight won't go away, it will go with you and you will never be rid of it, home or away. Because that's who you are."

"I don't know what else to do, Neji-nii-san." Hinata looked at him hopelessly, ever the protector... the strong in her eyes. Whether he liked it or not.

"I didn't say what you were doing was wrong."

"Then what are you saying?"

"I don't know."

"Say what you feel... please, just tell me what you want me to do. You don't know how much I've just watched you and listened to what you say, even if you weren't talking to me over these years... you don't know what I really think of you."

Neji paused again, blinking slowly and looking at her face- her eyes, her nose, the light colour on her cheeks... the haite-ate around her neck, resting on the definition of her collarbone, the long silky strand of her hair that had escaped the ponytail. He considered her and her words, thinking how easy it would be to kiss her... or kill her.

"Please Neji..." she implored him, placing a hand on his chest. "Please say something..."

He flinched as soon as she touched him and stared her hard in the eyes, his face once again unreadable. All his concentration, his focus had now zoomed to her hand and he was suddenly thinking things that had always lain dormant in his head, but he'd never really let himself think.

"I-" he paused again, trying to phrase it. "I can't imagine sleeping knowing you're not in the next room, or not passing you in the hallways... I'm proud that you you have grown enough to join ANBU but I don't understand why you choose to leave the compound even after what you told me."

"So. What should I do?" Hinata's voice, always so soft, not hearing that every day almost seemed like it would kill him.

"Hinata-sama." Neji allowed some warmth to creep into his own voice and even took the hand that was resting on his chest in his own, wishing he could slow his heartbeat. "You have made a decision, a sensible decision and you are only looking for my validation because I didn't give you the support that Hanabi-sama and Hiashi-sama did. For that I am sorry. But you know what you have to do."

Hinata looked so lost. And suddenly she never wanted to leave the spot where she was right now, her hand warm in Neji's and his eyes on hers.

She didn't want to leave Neji. Not now. Not ever.

"Neji-nii-san... I need to tell you what I feel... about you."

Giving her hand a little squeeze, he nodded and led Hinata over to the bed to sit down after shifting a couple of boxes filled with her few belongings.

"I liked Naruto for so many years... but he never knew... and then Sakura..." she trailed off, not wanting to get into that story. "Then there was that day where you cooked dinner for us because we stayed late at training... and I thought all that night about how you changed and I did too and just... just..." She'd been looking down, pink covering her cheeks as she said this but she looked up as she felt a hand lifting her chin, bringing her eyes back up.

She only got a fleeting glimpse of Neji's silvery irises before he was too close to see anything. He hadn't known what she was going to say, but sometimes actions speak louder than words and their kiss screamed all of the feelings that were too hard to phrase. The need they had of one another for reasons unknown to them. It it truly had come from nowhere, yet it was clear it was going somewhere.

Neji bore down on Hinata, pressing her into the pillows and deftly unlacing the ribbon holding the mask to her head, only to toss it aside. Mask out of the way, he untied her hair and ran his fingers through it, showing as much patience there as he was with his lips and tongue. She gave back to him as well, shyly keeping her lips parted and shutting her eyes, clutching the fabric of his shirt. Soon as Neji needed to come up for air, he broke away from her, and took note of their positions.

He was resting lightly on her, held there by one of her legs wrapped around his waist. Beneath him her chest rose and fell rapidly and her eyes held the look of a startled animal. In previous times he'd been so good at reading emotions, he could always tell what someone was thinking or feeling. But now his sense was clouded by both desire and shock at what he'd just done.

"I'm sor-"

Hinata reached up and put her hand on his mouth, stopping his words. "Don't stop."

He looked at her questioningly, unable to move forward to take her mouth again. He could only look at her, enthralled and listen to her breathing like his own personal symphony. Her hands moved up his face slowly until she reached his haite-ate. Under his silky layers of hair she followed the tie of the haite-ate and loosened it ever so slowly until it came off. Still, there was the layer of bandages beneath that she had to contend with. She looked at her fingers, not his eyes as she removed these also. Neji closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Hinata's fingers on his skin and not the fact that she was seeing that mark on his forehead. Revealing the shame that he had to hide.

She began to trace that pattern with her index finger, feeling sorry that he had to be like this because of her.

Even though he found himself learning into her touch, he whispered, "Stop," and opened his eyes to look at her once more, not sure what he was feeling. Well, there was one sure thing- he never wanted the intimacy of this moment to end. With this thought in mind, he kissed Hinata again, so gently with only expressive lips, no tongue, no teeth. He had so much time, all the time in the world and patience to match it.

Yet she was wanting more from him, innocent as they both knew she was. She slipped her hands up inside of Neji's hakama and ran her hands over the warm skin covering all the parts of his torso that she could reach. While he cupped and stroked her face with one hand, his other was busy loosening the ANBU vest she had put on. She pulled away eventually so she could pull it over her head, and Neji was greeted with the image that would stay in his mind forever.

Hinata in a tank top of black interspersed with fishnet, blue black hair tousled, cheeks pink like sakura petals and lip drawn into mouth to nibble at in anxiousness. Not Hinata in ANBU. Hinata just after he'd kissed her.

Neji couldn't help himself pushing forward again, shoving her back into the wall, bandaged wrists caught in his grasp. He wasn't trying to be rough with her, but it just happened. It was only when he bit her lip and she moaned into his mouth that he realised exactly what he was doing and drew away from her again.

"What are you doing?"

Hinata's lip was swollen where he'd bit it and it was a most beautiful sight to see, as were her breasts, heaving like that. She caught him staring and could've almost smiled, but instead took his hand much more gently than he had taken hers and guided it towards her chest, to rest it there, giving her unspoken permission.

It took him a few moments to get the courage to kiss her again, chaste kisses one after the other on her lips and he was squeezing and kneading her breast before he knew it.

She gave a little squeak and he felt her nipple rise under his hand, a sure sign that she hadn't worn a bra. At this, moved his hand down to slip it under the hem of Hinata's top and slide it up her belly to her breast. They were so soft and round, perfect. He could feel the constant flutter of her heartbeat as well, the partner to his own.

"Take- it off... Nej-ji-nii-" she whispered between kisses, biting down on his lip.

He did as she told him, using one hand to lift her slightly off the bed and pulling the top up over her head. He hadn't even dared dream this moment, bare-chested Hinata with silken strands of hair falling every where and frightened eyes. It wasn't too cold, but her nipples rose hardened anyway and little goosebumps stood up on her flesh.

With her hands trembling, she reached forward and looked up to him for permission to untie his hakama. He gave one little nod, and watched her hands as she struggled with the knot, but overcame it and was soon pushing the hakama off his shoulders into a forgotten pile on the bed.

He was almost as pale as his eyes, and even stronger looking that when he was wearing clothes. She flicked her eyes over every bit of definition... going even pinker now that she realised that they were both half-naked and where this was going.

"What now, Hinata-sama?" Neji asked softly, holding her hands again.

She was avoiding his eyes, but leaned forward to rest her head against his chest and hear his heartbeat. Immediately, his arms came around her and he held her there She closed her eyes in that position, thinking that this was the safest she'd ever felt. He could protect her, just because she felt this safe around him.

So, leaving him how would she feel?

"Co-come with me..." she whispered, muffled.

Neji heard her, but he still softly repeated, "Come with you?"

"Yes." She escaped his embrace for a moment, looking at him. "I can't imagine now... not having you there... but I have to go. So come with me. Live with me, like this. All the time."

Neji looked down, away. Were there any downsides to that proposal? He'd be with Hinata always... he could protect her for Hiashi-sama... he could be with her...

Like this.

"Yes," he replied, hands on her cheeks. "I'll ask Hiashi-sama and if he consents. Yes, I will live with you."

Hinata smiled, a real smile and Neji almost felt something within him melt... and as Hinata climbed onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him again, she felt that something else was happening with him as well.

And before they went off to start a new life together, she was going to do something about _that_.


	13. Cold

**13 – Cold**

_Wake up.  
_

_Wake up._

_Wake up, Neji. Wake up._

WAKE UP!

"Wake up... please... please... _please... _no..."

Hinata's small voice was lost in the hum of disbelief from the steadily growing crowd. Hiashi, Hanabi and dozens of others gathered around in the courtyard of the Hyuuga compound where ANBU had just brought back the body of the genius from the branch family. A lifeless, cold corpse. The shell of him. Lost so suddenly. It was a shock to all. So many eyes looked upon him, perfect in all ways- looking for all the world that he was asleep. Died from wounds in duty, but there were no wounds to be seen. Immaculate, invincible. Sleeping... just sleeping.

Not another name for the shinobi died during service.

Not dead.

Never dead.

Strong people like Neji just couldn't die. It didn't seem fathomable.

In the cold incomprehensible revelation of his passing Hinata had been the first and only one to run forward. Passing by on the way back to her room, she had seen the ANBU members as they arrived in the compound. Puzzled, she ventured out further to investigate and saw who they carried on a stretcher between them.

There was a ringing silence in her head, a calm as it hit her like a blow that shattered her to pieces. It was just starting to snow, large, feather-like flakes dancing down into the courtyard, but she didn't care... she stared, numb for a few moments. Then dropping the tea and the book she was carrying, she ran out to the masked jounin. She didn't even ask what had happened, she didn't care. All that mattered was him. She just threw herself to her knees beside Neji, her Neji-nii-san and cried out in anguish.

It was her cries that had attracted the attention of the rest of the clan members. Bereft, cries born of pain, disbelief and loss that one so young as she shouldn't have to feel. All shinobi had to deal with death, and even she was no stranger to its reality.

But this was close to home... close to her heart. No. This was an arrow shot directly in the centre of her heart.

This was Neji.

She stared at his face, haite-ate laid out on his chest so that the undeserved mark of the caged bird on his forehead would've been seen by all. But it wasn't there.

_It will fade... only with death.._

He was the person he should be now, unmarked. Hair spread out like tendrils of silk over the white pillow of the stretcher. So perfect.

Just sleeping.

"No... no... nonononono... _no!"_

Hinata stared at his face, as though he would open those white eyes any minute and burn holes right through her with his gaze.

Like always.

She willed him to wake up. Just staring at his skin numbly.

Like always.

She was thinking how much she'd thought of touching it before now. She'd always thought that he would be cold, but she knew in her heart that if she ever did touch that skin, he would be warm and she would be proved wrong.

She put both her small, frail, shy hands on his noble cheeks. Yet her tears fell more. His skin was as cold as the snow falling around them. She never wanted to be proved right.

"Please Neji. Please wake up. Please don't be..."

She couldn't say the word. It was as if saying it would make this horror true. Instead, she lifted his head and gently moved him so it was in her lap.

"Wake up... wake up so I can tell you... wake up so I can say... everything... so I can tell you. So I can say all the things I should've said!"

No one moved now, watching this. No one spoke. Typically the Hyuugas would never show their emotions, drawing power from their ability to always be detached, and to use others' emotions against them. But it wasn't the case now. Hinata wasn't the only one crying. Other people's tears were being shed, quietly, nobly. The tears out of white eyes and normal ones alike. Head and branch family members. Somewhere along the way Gai-sensei turned up and looked on the scene with a look of horror which turned to a torrential flood of his own tears. But somehow everyone knew not to disturb what was happening, the scene of grief unheard of for a Hyuuga. They just stood in the snow, numb from shock and cold.

Trying to comprehend that Neji was dead.

The shy heir cradling him now certainly couldn't comprehend it. All the things she'd hoped... all the things she'd wanted to say and do. Had he known? Had he felt the same way? She would never know.

Could he have understood how much she wanted to touch him?

Did he forgive her?

Or was he still in pain when he died?

She touched him now. Shy fingers over his forehead, nose, eyelashes, lips... every inch that she'd looked at while she knew he didn't notice her. All so cold. He was just so cold. She kept going, handling the column of his throat with utmost care and then touching the definition around his collarbone exposed by his loosened hakama.

Then she stopped and bowed her head. She felt that burning need, in spite of all her cold.

She needed to kiss him just once.

No one stopped her as she bent down. Her hair fell onto his cheeks before her mouth got there. But surely, her warm lips met his and she clung for a few seconds, not touching him in any other way. She closed her eyes and imagined him, training... eating dinner... speaking to her... smiling in that mocking way of his... she imagined Neji as he was everyday. Just Neji. It was as if somehow she could breathe warmth and life back into him through that kiss.

Pulling away finally she studied him, snowflakes decorating his skin. She felt the cold on her lips.

And she knew.

She broke down now. Her sobs consumed her, she started pulling at her hair, kneeling with the snow piling up around her. She screamed and gasped. Feeling like someone was ripping something away from her body.

But once more she crawled forward. Leaning over Neji. Imploring him. Shaking him. Pleading with him. With anyone. Begging.

"No... you can't be gone! I love you Neji! I do... I do! You can't be gone... you can't be gone when you don't know. When I don't know if you still hate me! Who will be strong for me... for us?!" Feeling like she had not control, she hit him in the chest. Once, twice. "What am I without you... and you don't even know!"

Now, the rest of the Hyuugas reacted. She screamed until strong arms grabbed her and pulled her away, whispering endearments to her. A scene so unthinkable of quiet, timid Hinata. A flurry of emotion. She heard nothing but the cold truth in her head.

_Neji is cold._

She slumped in the arms of her father. The realisation and the pain shooting through her.

_Neji is cold._

_Neji is gone._

_Neji will never know._

_Neji will never wake up._

_XxXxXxX_

**A/N: This will be the end of Behind the Byakugan for now. I'm sorry to have ended on such a sad note, but the angst really makes up for all the fluff. And I did only want to write 13 of these.**

Not to say more NejiHina won't come later!

**Thank you everyone who has read any, some or all of this story. It was a labour of love, I do love NejiHina.**

**As always, leave me a review :3 Especially if you would like any of these one shots developed into full length fanfictions. I want comments, criticism... anything!**

**I hoped you enjoyed reading, anyway! Love to all!  
-Nell (E.Y.N)**


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